To Aru Super SS II
by rubix22
Summary: 4koma/Fanfic. It's a hit-or-miss chapter filled with love and chocolates. And soybeans. And chocolates. It's Valentines. Chapter 10 is out. Happy Valentines Day. Woo.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hi there! Welcome to To Aru Super SS Vol. II!

To those of you who are new and have not read Vol. I, I'll briefly say that this is a 4koma/fanfic where I tell lame jokes that can only be described as hit-or-miss humor.

If you don't find a joke funny, it's probably my fault. I'm sorry.

To veterans that have read Vol. I... I am also very sorry...

Now let's get this ball rolling.

**Okay, Get Ready For It...**

Two Misaka sisters were sitting on a bench.

"'Going from Volume I to Volume II, it doesn't seem like anything's changed...' Misaka comments."

"'What...? No...! This is a new Volume, meaning it's a fresh start!' says Misaka as she slams her hand down on the bench."

"'Ehh...? A fresh start...? If this is a fresh start, does this mean we're setting up a precedent of what to expect for the rest of the volume (since we're up first)...?' Misaka asks."

"'...Ah! That's right...! This is bad...! Misaka can't think of a punchline...!' says Misaka as she visibly shows signs of sweating."

"'...E-Eh! There's no punchline...!' Misaka stammers."

…

"'...well, we can always use _that_...' Misaka mumbles."

"'That'...?"

**And Here It Is**

"'Misaka sometimes wonders if Frenda is actually related to Fremea,' says Misaka."

"'Hmm...? Isn't it obvious with their personalities and looks that they're related?' Misaka asks."

"'Yeah,' Misaka replies, 'but if you think about it, she's only a half-sister at best."

"_Dohohohohohoho!_"

They both laughed.

**That's To Aru Super SS In A Nut Shell**

Both Misaka sisters were covering their faces in embarrassment.

"'Well, now that expectations have been lowered, please feel free to press the back button and search for something funnier to read...' says Misaka as she slowly begins to cry."

"'Misaka wonders if a Volume III will appear...Misaka would very much like to redo this...' says Misaka as she contemplates living under a rock."

…

…

…

Please enjoy the rest of the chapter!

**A Fairy Tale In Academy City**

Fremea Seivelun was looking out a window.

"Ah! It's a tornado!"

Reacting to imminent danger, the little girl rushed underneath a door frame...

"Essentially, in times like these..."

"You need to play dead."

She lied down.

"..."

…

"..."

Outside, question marks appeared above the tornado as it passed by the house several times. It seemed to be confused.

**The Good Witch**

Hearing various knocking noises from the front door, Fremea raised her head.

"Fwee~?"

A bit of drool had accumulated near the side of her mouth. Nevertheless, she went on to open the door.

"..."

A scary looking man who stood over twice her size greeted her.

"Essentially, you seem like a good person. Would you like to come in?"

"No. It's alright."

Replied Aqua.

**The House Is Greater...**

The man spoke to her in monotone.

"Little girl. I am the Good Witch of the Back. I have to come to tell you that a tornado has carried your humble home to the mystical land of Academy City."

"Uwoh~!"

"Incidentally, this building has landed on the Wicked Witch of the Left and has consequently killed him."

"Uwoh~!"

"I should also mention that the Good Witch of the Front couldn't make her appearance as I had ripped her tongue out the other day."

"Uwoh~!"

"And as for the Wicked Witch of the Right, he is currently off doing his own thi-"

Fremea butted in.

"Please keep it brief."

**This Is Just My Opinion, But Doesn't He Look Kinda Like...**

"If you desire to return home, I suggest you find the Wizard of Academy City and have him help you out."

Aqua then turned his head to Terra's half-body.

"And while it may be in bad taste, I'd highly suggest you to loot his corpse for any valuables."

Fremea nodded in agreement.

"Now that my purpose has been served..."

Aqua stepped into a nearby furnace.

"I'll be taking my leave for now."

As the man slowly sunk into the fiery embers of the furnace, he raised up a hand and gave the girl a thumbs up.

"I'll be back."

Fremea saluted him as he went. She was already wearing Terra's slippers.

_Essentially, I will always remember you._

**It's Strange Because He Has No Lungs**

After getting directions from the Misakas in the nearby Misakaland...

Fremea eventually become lost at a crossroad.

"...essentially, where should I go?"

...

Then, the little girl heard a voice.

"Hey, are you lost?"

Looking up, she saw a spiky-haired scarecrow attached to pole.

"..."

She took a step back.

"_A talking scarecrow... Essentially, how strange..._"

_...Eh? Strange...? Saying that to me after everything that's happened so far...?_

**Scaring Crows**

"Well, I'd like to help you out, but unfortunately I'm kind of stuck."

He said to the girl

"A few of my female colleagues pinned me up here as punishment for being too dense. ( Which is completely wrong since my body is filled with straw.)"

"On the bright side though, I'm still able to do my job properly as a scarecrow."

As he said this, a flock of crows suddenly came down and consumed the cornfield behind him.

Flying off, they left him in a barren patch of dirt...

"..."

…

**Other Problems**

Kamijou's face was blank.

"Well... seeing that they ate everything, including the pole I was on... I guess I can help you now."

An aura of despair hovered over him.

The girl took some notice.

"Essentially, would you like to like to visit the Wizard of Academy City with me and ask for your corn back?"

"The Wizard, huh..."

…

His eyes glazed over as he looked off into the distance.

"_Rather than corn, maybe I should ask for a year's worth of college tuition... "_

…

"_Ah...sure, whatever..._"

He rubbed the top of the girl's head.

Somehow, Fremea gained a party member!

**Art**

Walking along, Fremea and the Scarecrow came across a tin man in the middle of the road.

"What the hell?"

The scarecrow was unnerved.

"Is this some type of modern art?"

The white-haired boy seemed to be frozen in time. And it seemed like, before he became frozen, he was in the process of chasing someone down with an axe.

He had an extremely angry expression.

Kamijou became cautious.

"Well, it's not really in the way. Let's just ignore it for now."

"..."

Looking down, the boy watched as the girl flip the Tin Man's "on" switch.

_Click._

"..."

**It's Normal Because He's A Robot**

"HAAAAA!"

The axe went flying out of the Tin Man's hands and consequently destroyed a tree in the distance.

Turning his head from side to side, the tin man uttered,

"_Where'd that fucking fly go..."_

_Is that what you were doing...!_

Taking notice of the two travelers, he asked,

"What do you fuckers want...?"

Still surprised at the Tin Man's sudden revival, the Scarecrow responded nervously.

"We're just passing b-"

The Tin Man stepped back.

"_A talking scarecrow...!"_

_What the hell... You're talking too damn it...!_

**Breezing Along**

"...essentially, that's how it is."

Fremea explained.

"The Wizard...? Come to think of it, I've got some business to take care of with him."

The white-haired boy's eyes glazed over as he cracked his knuckles.

"Would you essentially like to come with us?"

"As if I'd go with some brat. But if you tag along with me, I suppose I couldn't stop you."

"Oka~y."

"Tch. Do what you want."

Kamijou stared blankly at the new alliance that formed before his eyes.

_Ah, well, I guess this is how the story goes..._

And so, the three went along to visit the Wizard's castle.

Also, somewhere along the way, they picked up Hamazura.

"Wait-wait-wait...! Don't just ignore my introduction!"

**(Continue to Part 2 in Chapter 2...)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: Well, would you look at that? It continued. I suppose it may be too late to say this now, but please review and favorite this fic if you like it. I also have a poll on my profile page (apparently ff.net does this now...) you can enter that if you'd like... It's that thin bar on the top of the page that says 'poll'...

Well, now that's out of the way, please enjoy the chapter... which is a long drawn out arc with an ending that may or may not be worth it...

**(Continued from Chapter 1 Part 1)**

**Cowardly**

Hamazura Shiage was looking at his script. One particular page listed the cast members...

_Dorothy ...Seivelun_

_Scarecrow ….Kamijou_

_Tin Man ….Accelerator_

_Hamazura ….Hamazura_

"Hold on... I think there might be a typo here..."

He continued.

"It says here that I'm playing the part of 'myself'."

While two of his companions seemed disinterested in the query, Fremea Seivelun spoke up.

"Essentailly, that's correct. "

…

"...huh?"

The little girl waved her hand as if it was obvious.

"Essentially, you're playing as a 'Hamazura'."

"..."

_Eh...? _

**Hamazura Sleeps Tonight**

From behind Hamazura, the three ITEM girls appeared.

"Oh! Look! It's a Hamazura! How super rare!"

_Am I supposed to be some kind of animal...!_

"Hmm? That's surprising. I heard that a Hamazura couldn't breed effectively. This must be the last of its kind."

_B-Bitch...! Take that back right now...!_

"Hamazura..."

The last girl blushed and looked away.

"That's my fetish..."

_Takitsubo...! What you're saying isn't making me happy at all...!_

**Seriously, How The Hell Is It Possible?**

Arriving at The Windowless Building...

"I think this is where the Wizard lives... but there doesn't seem to be any visible way in..."

The Hamazura stated.

Suddenly appearing in front of the four people...

Musujime Awaki fissured into existence.

Kamijou reacted.

"A girl...!"

The girl reacted.

"A talking scarecrow...!"

_Stop it! This joke was never funny...!_

**Fetch Quest**

"Okay, so here's the thing..."

Musujime explained dully.

"I can't let you in until you bring me the Wicked Witch of the Right's broom."

Fremea commented on situation.

"So... essentially it's a fetch quest?"

"Exactly."

"Does it have to be Wicked Witch of the Right's? Can't we just get a regular broom?"

Hamazura asked.

"I suppose you could. But lately the Witch of the Right has been a real jerk, so... just take his."

"Why does the Wizard need a broom...?"

Asked Accelerator.

"It gets very dusty inside."

"Why don't you just open a windo- Oh... that's right..."

Kamijou tried to make a point, but quickly backed out.

"Just go already..."

**Fiamma/Zero**

On the top level of a large castle...

The Wicked Witch of the Right was sitting on his throne. He began talking to himself.

"Fu ha ha ha ha! As if the glorious me would allow his broom to be stolen so easily...! I've prepared something special for you all...!

A perfect atelier spanning an entire floor.

Twenty-four field layers. Three mana generators.

Dozens of ghosts and evil spirits roaming as guard dogs.

Countless traps. Parts of hallways that open out to other worlds.

And just in case all goes wrong, I've also drained the moat and lined all the walls with sponge

Come at me you fools...! Come and entertain the glorious me...!"

...

Outside the castle, Hamazura gave the Tin Man the signal.

Pressing a button on a remote controller...

Dust and debris exploded from one of the lower floors of the building...

And the group watched as the entire structure collapsed in on itself.

**A Conversation For Tomorrow**

The little girl, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and Hamazura returned to The Windowless Building. Musujime was caught off guard.

"...Back so soon?"

The Tin Man answered in monotone.

"We killed the Wicked Witch of the Right, just like you asked. (Or at least seriously injured him.)"

"Eh-Wha-! I just wanted his fucking broom...!"

"Oh, well... It happened. Are you gonna let us in or not? (By the way, we forgot to get the broom.)"

"Tch. Fine."

Musujime clicked her tongue...

…

"_By the way, I'm not really suppose to talk about this right now, but me and guys have been thinking about getting the old GROUP back toget-_"

"I refuse."

**He Planned For It**

"Alright! We're in!"

Hamazura was getting excited.

In the background, Kamijou regrew his right arm back after apparently cutting it off to let Musujime teleport him in.

A man floating upside-down in a glass tube greeted them.

"Welcome travelers. I am Aleister Crowly, the Wizard of Academy City."

"Surely, after seeing my appearance, you must all be thinking that I took a swan dive into this vessel without realizing that the sides of the container were too small for me to revert myself right-side up again."

"I assure you, that is not the case."

"..."

The entire group stared blankly.

**Huh? Why Would I Want That?**

Fremea:

"I essentially want to go home."

Kamijou:

"I'd like to have some brains."

Hamazura:

"Some c-c-courage would be nice to have..."

Accelerator:

"Absolute power that makes the mere thought of taking me on a fucking joke."

One of these is not like the others.

**And Because I Couldn't Think Of A Proper Ending...**

Aleister spoke robotically.

"It is unfortunate, but the only wish I can grant is the girl's."

"...Ehhh?"

The three protagonists reacted dully.

"Ya~y!"

The Wizard then extended his hand towards Fremea as far as the thin tube he was floating in would allow him to.

"But, in order to fulfill this wish, I must ask you, little girl, would you like to make a co-"

…!

Aleister flickered out of existence.

"Huh?"

In the back, Musujime Awaki was standing near an outlet.

"Whoops, sorry. Tripped on the power cord."

**The Wizard's True Form**

A sighing noise could be heard.

"Ah, well, it can't be helped."

This voice came from a darkened corner of the room.

From out of the shadows, a white cat-like creature with beady red eyes appeared before them.

While walking towards the little girl, he continued where Aleister had left off.

"Sorry about the technical difficulties. I didn't think I'd need to show up in this form, but nonetheless, make a contract with me and become a magical girl."

"Once that's done, I ensure that you'll be able to go ho-"

…!

The sound of a gunshot was heard and the creature became riddled with holes.

At the other end...

The Tin Man was holding a shotgun.

"You know what? I've changed my mind. I think I take a heart instead. Ripped right from your fucking chest."

**Doing What I Do Best**

In the ensueing battle...

"Open a god damn text book! Entropy doesn't fucking work that way...!"

Accelerator went on a murderous rampage against the incubators.

"Turning innocent girls into Witches...! I'll destroy that illusion!"

Kamijou Touma went on to face *alpurgis Night.

And Hamazura Shiage and Fremea Seivelun...

"I think it'll be alright if we hide here for now..."

They took refuge in a safe place.

…

…

The scene backed out, revealing itself to be part of a story book...

"'And they lived happily ever after,' says Misaka as Misaka closes off her self-written story."

"Uwah~! That was essentially amazing...!"

…

"By the way, essentially the two of us don't make an appearance in the new novel, do we..."

"Correct."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: From the poll, it seems like everyone agrees that this fic is hit-or-miss. Well, out of the four people who participated anyway... Well, a new poll should be up. Check it out on my profile page if you want. And as always, enjoy the chapter...

A brief update before Valentine's... Mostly about NT3 and... something I should have done awhile ago...

**Winner Gets A Cameo! Banzai!**

Two Misaka Sisters were sitting on a bench.

"'Misaka would like to make an announcement,' says Misaka as she stares blankly into the distance."

"'Hmm?' Misaka murmurs, pretending to be interested."

"'As commemoration for breaking 100 reviews on the first volume of 'To Aru Super SS', the bench Sisters will be receiving a special guest today,' says Misaka with no enthusiasm whatsoever."

"'Ah, that's right... Misaka vaguely remembers the author offering a prize to the 100th reviewer...', Misaka says bleakly."

…

"'What a shitty prize...' Misaka states."

"Yep."

***Insert Name Here***

"'Known for saying insightful things like 'oh wow, Kuroyoru makes for some great jokes', 'what the hell did I just read', and 'fuck your asshole'... Misaka would like to introduce !' says Misaka as she slowly claps."

The second Misaka sister whispers something into the first Sister's ear.

"..."

"'Correction. It has come to Misaka's attention that an operation has taken place, removing the _Mister_ from . So..."

She continued.

"'Misaka would like to introduce the ambiguously-gendered Kyon of the Crack!' says Misaka slowly clapping her hands a second time around."

**Best Gift Ever**

Kyon of the Crack appeared in the scene.

"'Originally... it was planned for the 100th comment to be made by the author,' Misaka admits, 'And then a joke would have been made off of that, but apparently this 'special guest' here was able to comment before that happened..."

"That said..."

The two Misaka Sisters stood up from their bench and looked down on the guest.

"'Ah ha ha ha...! How does it feel to be in the worst segment in To Aru Super SS...!' Misaka taunts."

"'Misaka bets that you wish you starred in a segment with Worst...! But you know what...! NOPE! You get the bench Sisters...!' says Misaka with a deranged look in her eye."

"..."

'**Unnatural' Phenomenon**

The two sisters were still taunting the prize winner.

"'If you're worried about how you're going to get back home, don't worry. A _special _ride for you has been prepared,' says Misaka as she gestures into the background."

In the back...

A van drives into the scene. The door opens, revealing a sweaty man in a suit.

He panted heavily...

"Hey, kid... you like ghost stories...?"

"..."

_**He was never seen again.**_

The two Misaka sisters were back on the bench.

"'Shout outs go to Fukou da (101)...'"

('Hey, that's the guy who wrote Unlucky Star!' Misaka says excitedly!)

"'And jrdragon2006 (99)..."

('That person is cool too,' Misaka states.)

"'And to everyone else who has supported this half-assed fanfic. Let's hope that there isn't another 100 reviews, otherwise this might have to happen again,' says Misaka as she stares blankly into the distance."

**Terminal**

[ At the airport... ]

Hamazura Shiage passed through the metal detector without incident.

…

Misaka Worst stepped through the metal detector safely as well.

…

Kuroyoru Umidori-

_BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!_

_Ah, damn it..._

"Whoo~! Whoo~! Take it off!"

Worst and Hamazura were catcalling from the side.

**Cloud Nine**

Misaka Mikoto was lost in thought as she sat down in one of the aeroplane seats.

_T-Togther...! For over seven hours...! What if...! What if...!_

[Dream Sequence]

"Ah...!"

The girl reacted as both her and the spiky-haired boy's hands touched near the seat's armrest.

"S-Sorry..."

She apologized to the boy.

"No, no. It's not a problem..."

He gently placed his hand under her chin and raised it so that their eyes met.

"Rather, the bigger problem is... I just can't stop myself from getting lost in your eyes."

"_K-Kamijou-kun~!_"

[End Sequence]

_That's totally possible...!_

Misaka Mikoto cradled her head in her hands as she squirmed in embarrassment.

Nearby, Kamijou Touma had passed out from psychological trauma.

**Nightmare At 20,000 Feet**

Accelerator and Leivinia Birdway were sitting next to each other on the aeroplane.

[ 7 Hours and 20 Minutes ]

"..."

…

[ 6 Hours and 19 Minutes ]

"..."

…

[ 5 Hours and 40 Minutes ]

"..."

…

[ 4 Hours and 8 Minutes ]

"So I hear the weather in Hawaii is nice."

"Is that so..."

"**In Use"**

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

Misaka Worst was violently banging on the door to the bathroom.

"Kuronyan~! Misaka knows you're in there~!"

"I-It's occupied...!"

The door rattled with increasing intensity.

Until, eventually...

...!

Ripping the door off the wall, Worst climbed through with a sadistic expression.

"Misaka wants to pla~!"

"..."

Kuroyoru, newspaper in hand, stared blankly at Worst.

"..."

Taking a step back, she made a small bow.

"Misaka would like to apologize for invading on your privac-"

"Just get out...!"

**Silver Lining**

A stewardess was speaking with Kamijou Touma.

"Sir, would you like chicken or fish?"

The boy replied.

"I'm actually not feeling that hungry right now..."

He continued.

"But if I had to choose..."

He gently placed his hand under Mikoto's chin and raised it so that their eyes met.

"I'd rather eat you instead."

"_K-Kamijou-kun~!_"

[End Sequence]

_T-That might happen as well...!_

Misaka Mikoto cradled her head in her hands as she squirmed in embarrassment.

Nearby, Kamijou was still passed out from psychological trauma.

**Birds On A Plane**

"..."

Waking up from a nap, the white-haired boy blinked and lifted his head. Looking out the plane window...

"..."

On the other side, Birdway was staring back. She momentarily stopped strapping C4 onto the plane's wing.

…

"..."

The white-haired boy took out his handgun.

**Off The Radar**

[ Before the flight... ]

Mark Space was speaking with Birdway on the phone.

"As you requested, I have prepared various means of transportation for your group to travel to Hawaii."

He said. He continued.

"Should I also purchase tickets for the rest of the Dawn-Colored Sunlight?"

The phone's receiver crackled a bit.

"That's not necessary. I think I can take care of that myself."

[ Day of departure... ]

Mark Space was standing in front of a canoe. He also had a note in hand that said: Good luck!

"..."

…

Leading the charge, he pointed forward...!

"Alright men...!"

"YAAAAAAH!"

The Dawn-Colored Sunlight ran into the sea...!

**Earth**

Kamijou Touma and Misaka Mikoto were getting off the plane. Within the swarm of people...

"D-Damn it! It looks like it won't be easy getting out!"

He turned to Mikoto, who seemed to daydreaming.

"..."

"Hey! Grab my hand! That way, we won't get lost!"

Without thinking much, she held on as he led the way out.

"..."

Staring off into space, she made a small laugh.

"_T-That would be nice too..."_

She seemed to mutter.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: And so, another chapter. A few are about NT3, and the rest are based on the poll I did a few weeks ago, which apparently ended in a four-way tie when I closed it. I should probably mention that I "took part" in a "beta" of Pandora's Box, a To Aru Majutsu fic made by Kyon of the Crack. So, if you haven't read that, you should seriously stop reading this crap and check it out.

That said... enjoy the chapter.

Also, a new poll is up on my profile.

**Do-It-Yourself Hamazura~!**

A dropout was lecturing a clone and a cyborg.

"Hey, hey~!"

He said cheerfully.

"For this project, we're going to use a lot of stuff, so listen carefully~!

To get started~! We need four fire extinguishers~! Now let's take the four hoses attached to the extinguishers and connect them all to one end of a steel pipe~!

Now to the side~!

Let's take bits of cork and push nails into them~! It gets a little tricky here since the nail needs to go all the way through the cork~! Be careful not to cut yourself~!

After that~! Put some of the cork pieces inside the steel pipe, and then we get-!

Tada~! It's a Gund*m-!"

_YOU MISSED A FEW STEPS...!_

**All She Knows**

( "La la~" )

While Cendrillon was singing, Kamijou Touma made a comment to Misaka Mikoto.

"_Is she really singing about Cinderella? I honestly can't tell..._"

"...!"

Overhearing this, Cendrillon suddenly became flustered.

"..."

With her face reddening...

"B-Bippity... B-Boppity..."

_The *isney version...?_

"...A whole new world~"

_That's completely wrong...!_

**Birds And Crickets**

Suddenly...

Falling from above...

A giant tanker truck filled with fifty tons of airplane fuel had smashed through to where Kamijou and co. were...!

Birdway stood on top of the vehicle unscathed.

"Hey there..."

She said.

"I just thought I'd... _**drop **_in."

…

"..."

…

( =_=)

The group turned away from her.

"...huh?"

**Chirp~**

Meanwhile...

Near the ceiling of the building, Accelerator was trying to take a nap on some metal framework. Various noises could be heard from below.

( "Err, um, let me do that again!" )

( "Okay! Here it is! Get ready for my poser phrase!" )

( "Tanks for the memories!" )

...

( "Huh? No good? Okay, okay, okay! I'll be serious this time!" )

The white haired boy shifted in his spot.

"_So noisy."_

( "Uh... C-Cinderella! T-That's a drink! I'll drink you up like a... Goddamnit!" )

**Kamijou And Worst I**

Kamijou Touma was eyeing a certain Misaka clone.

_That's the Misaka Sister that likes to follow Accelerator around... _

The unfortunate boy recalled...

_When I talk to her, she's always looking away. Whenever the two of us are in the same room, she actively tries to distance herself from me. And... this one time, I lent her a pen... and she sprayed disinfectant on it before using it..._

_Is it my imagination, or does she not like me?_

Raising his hand, he called out to her.

"Yo, Worst...!"

"...?"

Turning around...

"...!"

Making a dash!

_She's escaping...!_

**Kamijou And Worst II**

After catching up to her...

"Oh... hey. What a coincidence... Misaka didn't know you were here..."

Worst was looking to the side as she spoke aloud.

"Hey, this has been bothering me for awhile, but..."

The boy went straight to the point.

"Could it be that you dislike me for some reason...?"

"..."

Worst brought her gaze forward...

"It's nothing of that sort..."

At this, the boy let out a breath.

"_That's a relief..._"

"Misaka just finds your existence to be physiologically repulsive."

_Wait...! That's even worse...!_

**Kamijou And Worst III**

The boy seemed to be panicking.

"Why...! Why do you hate me...! We haven't even had that much screen-time together...!"

"Misaka can't help it. It's embedded in Misaka at a neural level."

_What does that even mean...!_

Worst looked up into the air and started thinking.

"If Misaka had to describe it... It would be... The way you look... Your personality..."

And then she concluded.

"Basically... everything about you... Misaka finds disgusting."

_CRACKKK!_

The boy took a heavy blow.

**Accelerator And Worst I**

Worst was walking along side a certain white-haired boy.

"Ah~! Such a waste! Misaka was hoping to show off a bathing suit to Tou-chan!"

"..."

"Hmm? Did Misaka peak your interests? Just so you know, Misaka was going to cater to Tou-chan's fetishes and put on a school swims-"

He flicked her across the forehead.

"_Kah~!_"

"Don't be absurd."

The boy said.

"In reality, school swimsuits are actually disappointing to look at."

_...Eh?_

**Accelerator And Worst II**

"Misaka wonders what type of swimsuit Tou-chan would wear..."

Worst continued the conversation.

"Probably... something full body... striped in black and white... Rather, does Tou-chan even know how to swim...?"

"..."

[ Flashback... ]

A young white-haired boy was walking across a public swimming pool.

"Whoa...! Look at that...!"

"He's splitting the water...! Is he Moses...!"

[ End of flashback. ]

"I suppose you can say I do."

_...Eh?_

**Kamijou And Mikoto I**

After recovering from a psychological blow...

Kamijou Touma spotted a certain electrifying level 5.

_Huh? What's she doing out here...?_

Raising his hand, he called out to her.

"Yo, Mikoto...!"

"...?"

Turning around...

"...!"

Making a dash!

_Wha-! Why...!_

**Kamijou And Mikoto II**

After catching up to her...

"Oh... hey. What a coincidence... I didn't know you were here..."

She said. She looked to the side as she spoke aloud.

"...!"

Kamijou grabbed onto her shoulders. The boy had a delirious look in his eyes.

"You hate me too, right...! You think I should just lay down and die, right...!"

_E-Ehh...!_

**Kamijou And Mikoto III**

"I-It's nothing like that...!"

Misaka Mikoto was in a bit of a panic.

_I-I can't say that I was window shopping for wedding rings...! It'd be too embarrassing...!_

And then she realized.

_Wait, now that it's come to this...!_

She clenched the ring in her pocket.

_This might be a good opportunity...!_

She gritted her teeth.

_Alright! I'll give it my all...!_

"H-Hey...! This might be a bit sudden, but I wanted to give you this-!"

Mikoto shot her clenched fist forward... smashing it into Touma's face.

**Mikoto And Worst I**

Worst spotted Misaka Mikoto sitting on the beach. She was looking into the horizon with a distant look in her eyes.

_Ah... I really messed that up..._

She was staring blankly.

"_I don't remember ever being this klutzy..."_

"_Could it be that there's something wrong with me...?"_

"_No... it might be more than that..."_

"_We spent seven hours on a plane together... and I wasn't able to learn anything about him..."_

"_Really..."_

"_I've got to get a hold of myself..."_

"_Perhaps rubbing my breasts would make them bigger."_

Mikoto whipped her head back to Worst.

"Stop trying to narrate my thoughts...!"

**Mikoto And Worst II**

"Oi. Just what is it that you want... did you come here just to make fun of me again...?"

Mikoto crossed her arms as she addressed Worst.

"What's with the hostility Onee-tama~? Misaka just wanted to cheer you up~"

Worst said with a slick smile. The level 5 made a slight groan.

"_Somehow, I really doubt that._"

"Misaka likes that attitude~ So strong and manly~ Just like Onee-tama's physical appearance~ Misaka just might fall in love~"

_Annoying...! This girl is annoying...!_

**Mikoto And Worst III**

"So you really did just come here to start a fight...!"

Mikoto was starting to get charged up, though Worst was ignoring her enthusiasm.

"Hmm... maybe 'Onee-tama' isn't right... perhaps..."

"Oi! Pay attention to m-"

"Onii-chan?"

"..."

…

Mikoto paused.

_...Eh?_

"W-Wait, wait, wait! It's not like my heart skipped a beat when you said that...!"

_...Ehh?_

**Kamijou And Accelerator I**

After recovering from a physical blow...

Kamijou Touma spotted a certain white-haired boy.

Raising his hand, he called out to him.

"Yo, Acc-"

"...!"

Flipping his switch!

_Click!_

Making a dash!

_Am I being bullied here...!_

**Kamijou And Accelerator II**

After catching up to him...

"Oh... Hero. What a coincidence... I didn't know you were here..."

He said. He looked to the side as he spoke aloud.

"Oi...! I'm getting kind of sick of this template...! Why are all of you running away...!"

Accelerator stared blankly.

"Eh? Did you need me for something?"

…

"..."

...

Kamijou Touma yelled into his face.

"That's not the point!"

**Accelerator And Worst III**

As the tides rolled in and out, Worst stood alone on the beach. Staring out into the horizon, she began to wonder...

"_Is this... what it's like to be normal...?_

_Misaka was under the impression that normal people were ignorant and powerless..._

_But..._

…

_Having people care about you..._

_It's not a bad feeling..."_

…

"..."

Accelerator called out to her from afar.

"Hey, it's getting dark."

He said.

"Are you coming?"

…

Worst paused before turning around. She gave him a smile.

"When Tou-chan says it like that... it sounds pervy..."

"You've ruined the mood."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**:It's been awhile since I made a chapter. I was killed in my most recent poll 4 to 1, and it took awhile for my friends to gather all the *ragon Balls. Aside from that, most of these are sort of based on NT4, so it's a good idea to read that if you haven't already. If you don't, well... I suppose I can't stop you.

Also, a new poll is up.

**A Joke About Kongou Mitsuko**

Kongou Mitsuko is Level 4 esper.

"Good day to you."

From the name of her ability...

I'd imagine it would work kind of like this:

"_Eh...! S-Senpai! You shouldn't be touching there!"_

"_What? I'm sorry. My hand just seems to have a mind of its own."_

Her reddening face seemed to be steaming.

"It's Aero Hand...! Aero Hand...!"

**Kihara Enshuu And Kihara Byouri**

Kihara Enshuu was concentrating.

"_I don't like it. I really really don't like it..."_

Suddenly, the three handheld devices hanging around her neck started flashing!

"_But this is something Kihara Byouri would do!"_

"..."

She sat down in a wheelchair.

"I give up."

_Whoooah! She's just as good as the original...!_

**Kihara Enshuu And Kihara Ransuu**

Kihara Enshuu was concentrating.

"_I don't like it. I really really don't like it..."_

The three handheld devices hanging around her neck started flashing!

"_But this is something Kihara Ransuu would do!"_

"..."

She started flailing her arms.

"HERP-A-DERP-A-DERP-A-DERP. LOLOLOLOLOL."

_Amazing! She's perfected his thought patterns flawlessly!_

**Kihara Enshuu and Ect.**

Kihara Enshuu was doing various other impressions.

"I'll break that illusion!"

"Too easy, level 5!"

"KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!"

Saflee Opendays, Oumi Shuri, Kumokawa Maria, and some others were watching this. It had become a game of charades.

Currently, she was sitting down and spinning in a circle.

"Hey! I know this one!"

**Interrogation I**

Saflee Opendays confronted Kamijou Touma.

"It's been hours and we haven't been able to get anything out of her. Do you think you could give a shot?"

"Well... I don't know if I could do any better. Though, I guess I can try."

…

Kamijou approached the Kihara who was tied to a tree. He opened his mouth to say something.

"...Who's this cutie?"

"...is something Kamijou Touma would say."

The girl blushed and looked to the side.

"That's not something I would say."

**Interrogation II**

"This isn't good!"

The girl continued while struggling against her constraints.

"Ravishing every nook and cranny of a young girl's sweet body is certainly something Kamijou Touma would do!"

Kamijou took a step back.

"I-I would never do that...!"

"It's not?"

Somehow, the girl looked disappointed.

"Well..."

She thought for a moment.

"If that's true... I may have done something terrible to Byouri-obasan..."

"..."

**Interrogation III**

_Epilogue..._

_After the events of Baggage City, Kamijou Touma managed to convince Kihara Enshuu to ally up with him._

_Over the course of many battles and close encounters, it became apparent to both of them..._

_They had hopelessly fallen for each other..._

_And so..._

_Wedding bells rang as the two walked out of the cathedral._

_Many years later..._

_An old and senile Kamijou was resting his head on Enshuu's lap. He said with a withering voice..._

"_You... were the most precious thing I had in my life. My only regret... is that I couldn't be with you longer..."_

_He raised his right hand to touch her cheek..._

_But it fell..._

_Enshuu took the old man's fingers and held it close to her heart. He had passed away with a smile on his face._

…

_Enshuu's eyes glazed over._

_And in the end, she took all of his assets._

"...is the type of scenario a Kihara would think of."

"I can hear you, you know."

**Interrogation IV**

Saflee Opendays passed by Kamijou Touma.

"Hey! How'd the interrogation go?"

"..."

The boy paused for a moment before answering.

"...I gave up... is something Byouri-san would say."

"...?"

**Doki Doki Kumokawa-san**

In a certain school...

A young Kumokawa Maria made a confession.

"S-Sensei, I think there might be something wrong with me..."

"What is it?"

Kihara Kagun responded to his student without enthusiasm.

"Whenever I look at Sensei, my heart goes *thump thump* and I start to get all hot and bothered..."

Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at him.

"Perhaps Sensei knows what-"

"Ignore it. If it persists, it's best to go to the school nurse for problems like that."

Kumokawa was shut off.

"I... I see."

**A Spinning Heart~!**

Kumokawa Maria was speaking with Kihara Kagun again.

"Sensei..."

She started to say.

"Today in class, we were asked what we wanted to be in the future..."

She hid her face.

"I said I wanted to be Sensei's wife..."

( Kumokawa: I actually said it! Kyaa~! Kyaa~! )

"You should keep your goals realistic."

Kagun said blankly.

"Eh...!"

**Goes Round And Round~!**

"Sensei!"

Kumokawa caught Kihara Kagun as he was leaving school.

"I heard that... you decided to resign from teaching... Is this true, Sensei?"

Kihara Kagun looked down for a moment before strengthening his resolve.

"Yes. It is."

"...I see."

Kumokawa grabbed her face in embarrassment.

"So instead of pursuing a taboo student-teacher relationship, Sensei wants to be seriou-"

"You're completely wrong."

**Yuno The Story**

Kihara Kagun shut the door to his apartment and breathed a sigh of relief. Taking off his shoes, he heard something.

"Goodnight."

"..."

The teacher slowly looked back...

…

And saw a pair of eyes stare at him from the mail slot.

"Goodnight, Sensei."

"..."

…

Afterwards, he decided to move out of Japan.

**Wish You Were Here...**

Misaka Mikoto was staring at the Gekota strap on her cell phone.

"_That idiot..._ _just where is he off to now..."_

She sighed.

"Ah, well... I'll see him when I see him."

Snapping her phone shut, she proceeded to surf to the peak of a huge wave and do a frontside carving 360.

Nearby, Hamazura was playing volleyball on the beach with Kuroyoru, Worst, and the President of the United States. And Accelerator had decidedly taken refuge underneath the shade of an umbrella to take a nap.

Meanwhile...

A certain unlucky boy was stuck in the middle of a blizzard.

"..."

He felt like he was missing out on something.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: From what I gathered in the last poll, Worst's legs are best legs. I'm glad to see that six of my readers have good tastes. New poll incoming. Oh, and... here's another chapter if anyone cares about it.

**NT3 Explanations: Magic Trick**

Kamijou Touma and Accelerator were rescuing a group of children.

"Take those kids and get out of here."

Accelerator addressed the unlucky boy with a growl.

"This isn't the occult. This is my job."

As he said this, several children gathered around him.

"Hey! Hey! Do a trick!"

Thinking that he was an entertainer by the way he was dressed, they all cheered him on.

( "Do a trick! Do a trick! Do a trick!" )

"..."

…

"Look, my thumb..."

Putting his hands together, the white-haired boy then made a sweeping motion.

"It came off."

Afterwards, he started coughing up blood.

_What the hell are you doing...!_

**NT3 Explanations: PSA**

The President of the United States was in the driver's seat of a stolen automobile.

_Bzzzt!_

His phone vibrated, and he instinctively took a glance...

However...

"Mr. President! What are you doing...!"

The dropout immediately called him out.

"Texting while driving is extremely dangerous! You could get us killed, or even worse, someone else...!"

Leivinia Birdway continued where he left off..

"It's true. While people claim that they're able to multitask, the reality is that they can't. They're just shifting their focus from one object to another in rapid succession. And when you're splitting your attention like that, it's impossible to do any task well without neglecting something else."

"Texting while driving will only make your ability to drive worse. And you can't call yourself a responsible individual if think of this lightly."

Hamazura Shiage, the boy without a license, was now driving the car.

_What the hell...?_

**Coming October 2012!**

"Hanzou! Take a look at this!"

Hamazura Shiage held up a magazine containing an ad for an Accelerator figurine.

"..."

Hattori Hanzo dug through his pockets...

And showed him a picture of the Ultimate Madoka figurine

…

_Damn it! Why does that look so much cooler...!_

The release date is in November.

**Feedback**

On a forum:

[ There's something not quite right about that figure. ]

[ He looks happy. ]

[ What's wrong with his face? ]

[ Why the fuck is he smiling? ]

[ It's kinda creepy, the face is creepy and so are the eyes. -_- ]

[ Choker? Where's my sexy pre brain-damaged Accelerator!-? ]

…

"..."

Elsewhere...

A certain boy felt like he should never smile again.

**Hope**

Aleister Crowley was speaking with Musujime Awaki.

"Tell me, how is the Aleister figurine coming along?"

"It's not. No one thinks it'll sell."

"..."

The man in the tube went silent.

"If it's any consolation, I filled a glass with orange soda and put an upside-down Index figma inside of it."

"Excellent. We can use that as a prototype."

**Baggage In Baggage City**

A certain unlucky boy was wandering around the snowy streets of Baggage City.

Spotting something nearby...

"Huh? What's going on over there?"

A group of people had gathered in front of a small building.

"Is it some kind of attraction?"

"Not really."

Saflee Opendays appeared beside him.

"It's a baggage depot, a place where people drop-off and pick-up their baggage. Establishments like those are pretty popular around these parts. I'm actually kind of surprised you haven't heard of them before."

She turned to him with a glint in her eye.

"Did you want to check it out?"

He hesitated.

"...Uh, no. It doesn't sound too interesting."

**Amazing Baggage**

Having reluctantly entered through the doors of the depot, Kamijou Touma made an astute observation.

"No one here seems to be carrying any luggage..."

"Why would anyone have luggage?"

The girl asked.

"_Huh...?_"

Saflee ignored the boy's confusion and pointed off to the end of the room.

"Hey, it looks like some amazing baggage arrived today."

"...?"

Just as the boy turned his head...

A giant rush of dark energy came from the area where Saflee pointed.

…!

The boy shielded his eyes with his right hand.

"_Wait...! What is this aura I'm feeling...!"_

The girl beside him was feeling it too as the ends of her dress fluttered like a ribbon.

"_It's obviously 'baggage', isn't it?"_

"'_B-Baggage'...?_"

**Unpopular Baggage**

Looking towards the center of this incredible force...

GREMLIN operative Útgarða-Loki was sitting at a bar with a frivolous expression. But somehow... there was a distant look in his eyes.

_GREMLIN...!-? Why are they here...!-?_

"...ooh. This isn't good. This isn't good at all..."

His head sunk.

"...My *ixiv image count isn't increasing at all."

_Oi...! Why is this guy brooding over something so pathetic...!_

"Well, I guess I should've expected this after making such an underwhelming appearance...

"I mean, seriously...? 'A dream within a dream'...? What the hell kind of scenario is that...? That's something only an idiot would do..."

_[ No comment. ]_

"And my name... Sure, it looks good on paper... But how the hell is 'Útgarða-Loki' supposed to be pronounced...? Can anyone even remember something as complicated-looking as that...? It should've just been shortened to 'Loki'..."

Dropping further, his head now rested on the bar.

"_Ah..._ _Maybe I should start a *ixiv account and start submitting my own work..._"

_This guy is hopeless...! Completely beyond saving...!_

**Rotating Baggage**

Sitting right next to him was Kumokawa Maria...

She was slouching over the counter.

"Sensei...

"After so long, I was finally able to track you down...

"Just for you, I traveled all the way from Academy City... and yet...

"You die on me the moment we get to talk..."

Kumokawa slammed her hands on the bar.

…!

"Now that I think about it, that's pretty damn convenient...! Did you plan this out...! Are you that opposed to giving your former student five seconds of your time that you would rather die at the hands of girl in a wheelchair...!"

"Sensei...! Answer me...! Answer me, Goddamnit!"

As the girl threw a tantrum, Kamijou Touma noticed the mug in her hand.

Looking to the side, he noticed Saflee giving him the thumbs-up.

"Baggage!"

"_Like hell it's baggage...!_"

**Golden Baggage**

Sitting right next to her was Marian Slingeneyer...

"It's my fault. It's entirely my fault...

"If only I had known... Then Bersi wouldn't be like this..."

Her expression was sinking.

"For Othinus to turn him into a zombie... Who could ever love someone like that...!

"Damn it all...! At this point, I might as well make a contract to become a magical girl...!"

Tears flowed as she tilted her head back.

"_I'm such a fool._"

Coming November 2012.

_You can stop now..._

**Unclaimed Baggage**

Kihara Kagun entered the room from behind...

( Kumokawa: SENSEI! SENSEI! SENSEI! )

( Marian: BERSI! BERSI! BERSI! )

"..."

He immediately walked out.

**Cheerful Baggage**

From behind Kamijou, a small cheerleader ninja made an appearance.

"Oh, so this is where everyone is."

The boy gave her a relieved smile.

"Good timing! Everyone here seems to be a little down. Do you think you could cheer everyone up?"

"..."

…

Oumi Shuri sat at the bar.

"I'm a grown adult now... Just what am I doing with my life..."

_She joined...!_

**Child-Sized Baggage**

"'Raw. Raw. If you can't do it, no one can'...? What a joke... In the end, this getup is mostly just cosplay... But more importantly...

"This body here is pretty damn inconvenient..."

She sighed as someone offscreen handed her a drink.

"I'm getting tired of asking people to reach for things on the top shelf. Frankly, it's humiliating. And I hate that I have to do it. It makes it apparent that I'm being looked down upon...

"With this condition, I don't understand how anyone could commandeer any respect, let alone hold a public job and be taken seriously...

"And it also takes its toll on relationships too..."

After taking a sip, she slammed the mug down.

"DAMN LOLICONS. LIKE HELL I'D GO ALONG WITH YOUR PERVERTED FANTASIES."

_Whoa, that was fast...!_

**Moldy Baggage**

Sitting right next to her was Kihara Ransuu...

"..."

…

His expression was blank as he looked forward into nothing.

"..."

…

"..."

…

_What's with this guy..._

And then all of a sudden, he started banging his head on the table.

"_MOLD, DAMN IT. __**FUCKING**__. MOLD."_

_I'm sorry, but I don't think there's anyone can understand your pain..._

**Lost Baggage**

Kamijou Touma looked left. Looked right. Looked up. And then shouted.

"DESPAIR! NO MATTER WHERE I LOOK, ALL AROUND ME IS DESPAIR!"

He sounded quite desperate.

"Isn't there someone here that can help these people climb out of this hole...!"

At this time, GREMLIN operative Sigyn appeared.

"If I may..."

She started to say. She addressed everyone in the room.

"While things may seem bad in our current lives, surely we can obtain happiness in our next lives. I suggest for everyone here that's unsatisfied with how things are going to move on to the next stage.

"A new world, another chance, a fresh start, the possibilities are endless...!"

For some reason, the girl started to emit a heavenly glow as she said this.

_Hey now, you're literally just telling them to kill themselves..._

( "That sounds like a good idea..." )

( "I want to be reborn as a mushroom." )

"Don't listen, damn it...!"

**Baggage Check-In**

"Gah, I can't depend on anyone else...! Looks like I'll have to break everyone's illusions...!"

The unlucky boy prepared his right fist.

However...

"Say, I forget to tell you this, but you received this in the mail."

"..."

Saflee Opendays handed him a postcard.

On it, there was a picture of a group of people having fun. The following text was printed:

[ Wish you were~! _From: the 'Kamijou Faction'_ ]

"..."

…

Kamijou Touma was sitting at the bar...

"I suppose things went downhill after my memory loss... No, it was probably before that..."

**Extra Baggage**

Yomikawa Aiho:

"I'm not even married, and yet I'm already taking care of three kids... Mom, what did I do wrong...?"

Tsuchimikado Motoharu:

"What's the point of wearing this shirt if I'm not even going to be invited..."

Kanzaki Kaori:

"I've been lying to myself... I'm not eighteen at all..."

...

"Do you know those people?"

Saflee asked the boy.

"Nope."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: And after awhile, I decided to update. Most of these are based on NT4 and NT5, so read those if you'd like. Another poll is up, just for the hell of it. And... well, that's pretty much it. Gah, these author's notes are pretty underwhelming...

Maybe I should start answering review questions to make things fresh... Or keep it underwhelming by not doing anything at all... Well, either way, here's a new chapter.

**Marian And Bersi I**

Before the events of Baggage City...

The bond of a student-teacher relationship had formed prior between Marian Slingeneyer and Kihara Kagun. Describing the encounter...

Marian smiled deviously.

"_Just because you're my student, it won't mean that I'm giving you special treatment. I hope you're prepared to face a darkness you've never dreamed of._"

Kagun offered her a basket of fruit. Speaking in monotone:

"As a former teacher myself, this type of exchange is cliched but mandatory. I'll be in your care."

The girl blushed and looked away.

"I-Idiot! This won't change anything! I-It's not like I want this, but since you're so insistent, I guess I'll take it..."

Surprisingly, being nice to Marian Slingeneyer makes her like you very quickly.

**Marian And Bersi II**

Noticing that her student was practicing drawing magic circles...

"Hard working, I see. Here, let me help."

She reached out to guide him.

…_ck!_

And Kihara Kagun slapped her hand away.

"Don't touch me."

Despite the cold words, Marian smiled warmly.

_Aww..._ _he can't be honest with himself at all, can he?_

Surprisingly, when Marian Slingeneyer takes a liking to someone, she gets a bit persistent.

**A Heavy Loss**

Two Misaka Sisters were sitting on a bench.

"'Hey ho~ It's been awhile since a segment like this has appeared,' says Misaka ecstatically."

"'It's because it's unpopular,' replies Misaka blankly."

Clapping her hands:

"'Anyhow, prepare for an impressive punchline that's full of wit and intellect. Surely, the bench sisters will win over the audience this time around,' says Misaka optimistically."

"'Misaka doesn't know if you've read the latest novel or not, but it looks like Frenda jokes are now off-limits,' says Misaka, obliterating the chance for a cheap laugh."

"..."

The first Sister went silent.

In her head, she thought in English:

[ _God shit._ ]

**Window Dressing**

"'It appears that the number of people on the bench has increased...' says Misaka dully."

Between the two Sisters, someone wearing a white apron over a blue dress sat cross-legged.

"'Mr. Guest, would you care to introduce yourself...?' asks Misaka, giving a visual cue."

The person in 'Alice' cosplay spoke aloud.

"Ah, yes. It may be difficult to recognize me in this costume." [ *sparkle sparkle* ]

"From the sensational group GREMLIN that's taking over Academy City by storm..." [ *sparkle sparkle* ]

With the back of his hand, the thin crossdressing boy flicked his waist-length blonde hair.

"_My name is Thor. It's a pleasure to meet you all_." [ *sparkle sparkle* ]

[ *sparkle sparkle* ]

[ *sparkle sparkle* ]

The boy started to sweat.

"I appreciate the gesture, but it gets hot pretty fast."

And the two Sisters stopped throwing sparks.

**It's Cosplay**

"'That aside, what's with the outfit...?' Misaka inquires while trying to sound polite."

"'It must take a lot of courage to crossdress in public,' Misaka remarks while somewhat looking down on you."

Thor showed off his Wonderland dress.

"Well, since it's close to Halloween, I thought dressing up would be fit for the occasion. Of course, this might be a mistake considering how Japan doesn't celebrate the Western-holiday as much as other countries do."

"'If you already realize it, then you're just being shameless...' Misaka points out."

The boy winked.

"Maybe it's 'shameless', but this is rather 'exciting' for me!"

"..."

…

"That, and there's also the fact that I didn't want to be the only one cosplaying."

"'...? Misaka doesn't quite understand what you mean...' says Misaka tilting her head."

"Despite wearing Tokiwadai's school uniform, you two don't actually attend that school, do you?"

"..."

…

This... was more or less a mind blowing realization...

**Thor And Kamijou I**

Thor was at a burger shop with the Kamijou Touma.

At the moment, the spiky-haired boy didn't know what to think of the situation.

"Please tell me... How did we get to this point?"

The GREMLIN member smiled cheerfully.

"It's obvious, isn't it? Don't you think this type of scene would be popular amongst a certain group of people? I've even ordered a specialty drink with two straws for the occasion."

He continued.

"And if you get whipped cream stuck to your cheek, I'll say..."

He simulated while licking the tip of his finger.

"_The taste is sweet~ But there's another cream I'd like to try._"

Kamijou Touma was in imminent danger.

**Thor And Kamijou II**

Kamijou Touma found himself to be working with Thor to achieve the shared goal of rescuing a girl. The two briefly went over their plan.

Thor started:

"The Windowless Building is said to be IMPREGNABLE with a barrier that can suppress a nuclear attack. That, and there's also the annoyance of having no windows to crawl into."

Kamijou nodded.

"So that's why... we'll be using power tools to drill a hole into its side."

Raising his hand:

"I'm sorry. But it feels like we just skipped a bunch of explanation for why this is going to work."

"What's wrong with thaaat...!"

Thor ranted.

"You should know the best way to IMPREGNATE someone is by DRILLING into them KAMIJOU TOUMA...! The KAMIJOU TOUMA I know should have EXPERIENCE with this sort of thing...! The KAMIJOU TOUMA I know has FORCEFULLY IMPREGNATED the hearts, minds, and bodies of many of his enemies...!"

_Who is it...! Who's the one spreading these lies...!_

"That said... when the time comes for us to spar, don't think I'll lie down and let you impregnate me without a fight!"

_Stop using that word, damn it...!_

**Thor And Kamijou III**

And so...

A hole had been created on one side of the Windowless Building...

From inside the darkness of the tower, a tall woman with long hair stepped out into the world.

This strange stoic woman was Fraulein Kreutune.

"..."

Looking around, she sought to quench her curiosity.

Spotting the two boys nearby...

A somewhat flowery aura:

"_What's this? Do you mean to betray me now, Kamijou Touma?_"

"_D-Don't breathe on me. You're face is too close. It's disgusting..._"

"..."

…

…

Fraulein Kreutine went back inside.

**Thor And Kamijou IV**

"_It's me~!_"

_Click!_

The snapshot of a girl with silver braided hair was taken.

"_It's totally me~!_

_Click!_

In another snapshot, she posed leaning forward, teasing the capable figure under her overalls.

"_Marian Slingeneyer, nya~n!"_

_Click!_

And in another pose, she was on all fours on top of a table. She was smiling as she made slight pawing motion with her hand.

"Aren't we going too far with this? We only need one picture."

Kamijou put the camera down. Currently, Thor ( as Marian ) was wearing only an apron.

He answered.

"The rest is for personal use."

"Is that so..."

**Railgun S2**

Apparently, this was announced awhile ago...

"Railgun Season 2...! Man, this is really exciting...!"

Saten Ruiko was getting pumped up.

"I can't wait for my role in the Sisters Arc to come up!"

Across from her, Uiharu Kazari seemed confused.

"Eh...? Did you have such a role?"

"Of course I did! Without me, nothing would've gotten accomplished!"

…

The train yard scene:

Kamijou Touma yelled out to Accelerator.

"My weakest punch...! Just might stir you up a bit...!"

…

The scene backed out, showing the two boys at a distance.

…

Backing further out...

…

Saten Ruiko could be seen holding up a boom mic.

_So that's where you were...!_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: Results of the last poll had an overwhelming response with 100% ( 1 person ) saying 'no' to Thor's advances. That is to say, there appears to be 1 person who reads this fic and is also against BL... assuming that person is male. Lovely what you can do with baseless assumptions.

Another chapter, this time... not so much based off of New Testament. Just one long-ish arc.

Also, another poll should be up.

_Q: __Can we have some more Misaka clones appear maybe mentioning the MMO they are playing with Last Order. More Kamijou merchandise. How about the fact that a ToAru film is coming out?_

_A: Keeping it short: Maybe, possibly, and inevitable._

**Lost Opportunity**

Outside a certain apartment complex... someone was ringing a doorbell.

[ sfx: _Buzz! _]

…

[ sfx: _Buzz-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz-Buzz!_ ]

"_God damn it! Stop ringing the doorbell...!_"

Kamijou Touma angrily opened the door of his apartment to see a girl.

"_I don't like it... I really don't like it...!_"

Kihara Enshuu struck a pose.

"But I look surprising good as *hun Li...!"

"…"

…

The spiky-haired boy stared for a bit.

"You know... Halloween... was last week..."

"..."

And so it was.

**Experiment**

Inside a dark room...

The glare of a television screen illuminated the figure of a boy. Wearing a dark maroon-colored suit with a red v-neck underneath, Kakine Teitoku leaned back...

And swayed with the loud music.

" [ GAGAGAGA CRAZY~! ZERO ] _ni wa dekinee_~"

Karaoke: a national Japanese pastime.

"_Kyou wa~ Sukuitai~ Kusottare no~"_

He pointed his finger towards a random wall.

" [ HAPPY ENNNNNNNNND~ ] "

The lights turned on, revealing the rest of the cast: Accelerator, Misaka Mikoto, Mugino Shizuri, Shokuhou Misaki, and Sogiita Gunha.

This was an experiment... to test the compatibility of these people.

**People Who Don't Get Along**

"Would you look at that! I got the high score!"

Kakine was undoubtedly happy. He faced Accelerator with a slightly broken expression.

"Hey, Number 1! Would you fucking look at that! Look at it! Look at it you bastard!"

"...I can see it."

…

After a moment of pointless self satisfaction, he went back to his seat silently.

…

...

The entire room felt heavy with a gloomy atmosphere.

…

…

" *cough* Alright! I'll be the next one up!"

Sogiita Gunha stood. He began playing with the remote.

"Let's see, uh... Okay!"

Cheap 90s music starting revving up as Sogiita prepared singing 'Flying in the *ky'.

...

The gloomy atmosphere thickened.

**No Life Queen**

After Sogiita Gunha finished, he quickly sat back down. There was no applause. No praise. Just dead silence.

"..."

…

Taking the perspective of a certain Queen of Tokiwadai...

_Huh? What is this... How long are we supposed to keep this up...? I realize that the purpose of this situation is to test the compatibility among us Level 5s..._

_But it's pretty damn obvious from the offset that none of us are compatible...!_

Shokuhou Misaki let out a breath.

_I wonder... Should I do something here...?_

_Well, since we're all together, I might as well put in a little effort. This is a rare chance after all._

The Number 5 of Academy City hid a smile.

_Prepare yourselves... I'll show all of you... The fearsome strength of someone with over 10,000** friends!_

( **This is false.)

**King**

"Hey~! I have an idea~! Let's play the King Game~!"

Shokuhou Misaki stuck her tongue out and winked.

"..."

Her words seemed lost on the group.

"Ah~ That right...! None of you are popular enough to have actually gone out with a group of friends and played this type of game before, so of course all of you have no idea what I'm talking about..."

Putting it briefly...

"What we do is each draw lots, Numbered 1 through 7 plus a special 'King' lot. The one who gets the 'King' will have the power to order any Numbered lot to do his or her bidding. No questions asked."

…

"Or so I'm told."

In the end, she admitted to not being popular.

**Round 1**

It was a change of pace when the Number 5 of Academy City forced this game onto the others.

Shokuhou Misaki held up a straw with a printed star on it.

"I am the King~!"

Making a rather childish pose, she ordered:

"Okay~! Number 1 and Number 3!"

Making a dark smile...

"I wonder what I should have you two do-"

...!

Mikoto grabbed onto Shokuhou's right shoulder and Accelerator grabbed onto her left.

Both radiated murderous intent.

_...Ara?_

The King was about to be overthrown.

**Those With 20/20 Vision**

"_The fuck you think you're doing._"

Accelerator's hostile words were not directed towards the Number 5 but the Number 3 instead.

"_I've got a grudge against her. So back off."_

"_Big words... but you're still a shitty kid. As your senior, here's some advice: Don't get in my fucking way."_

"_Oi, are you trying to start something here? Because I'll take you head on, Tree Diagram be damned!_"

"..."

The two participants of the Level 6 Shift Project narrowed their eyes at each other. Unpleasant memories surfaced as well as repressed anger.

…

"If I could just get a word in-"

"**You shut up."**

**Unison**

Shokuhou was starting to sweat.

"The King Game is meant to be an icebreaker... I won't force you to do anything too embarrassing."

"**We know what the King Game is.**"

( "Hah?" )

"..."

After a short staring contest, the two broke contact. They begrudgingly went back to their seats and sat down.

"Whatever. I don't really care what happens in a shitty kid's game."

"Ah~an! It's embarrassing getting worked up over something stupid."

…

The girl felt a vein pop.

_These two piss me off so much...!_

**Compliment**

Shokuhou briefly meditated:

_In any case... I should... probably be careful handling the situation..._

"Aha~ Hmm... Erm... Number 3! How about giving Number 1 a compliment!"

…

The King's orders were absolute.

"For a genocidal killer, you seem very clean. Just how did you wash all that blood off your hands?"

Mikoto's eyes had glazed over.

Accelerator answered in monotone.

"Wiped it off with your tears. Cry more. It helps."

_That... kind of worked?_

**Round 2!**

"I am the king~! (Again.)"

Shokuhou held up the lucky straw. Starting to regret suggesting such a dangerous game, she shut her eyes.

_Okay, I'll try being subtle..._

"Number 2 and Number 4! How about you two shake hands for 3 seconds~!"

Number 2: Kakine

Number 4: Mugino

The King's orders were absolute.

…

…

Kakine noted the pleasantness of their situation.

"Say, this isn't so ba-"

_Crunch!_

And blood spilled onto Mugino's emotionless face.

An ambulance would soon arrive afterwards.

**Absolute**

Number 1: Left

Number 2: Hospitalized

Number 3: Left

Number 4: Taken into custody

Number 6: Never showed up.

Sitting by herself, Shokuhou Misaki was feeling a bit depressed. It seemed like that last stunt had caused the group to disband.

…

"...?"

A set of straws had appeared in front of her. And looking up, Sogiita Gunha was giving her a warm smile.

"Well, it seems like everyone has their circumstances for leaving... but I'm still here. How about we continue?"

…

"..."

Not knowing whether this boy was an idiot or attempting to be kind, or maybe both... she returned the smile.

"Number 7, go drown yourself in a river."

"Sir, yes sir!"

Number 7: Attempted suicide


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**: After submitting in my last chapter, I left the poll open for two weeks. During that time, 40% of the votes wanted Mikoto as a childhood friend and 10% went to everyone else... except Accelerator who received 0 votes. (lol) I guess this makes sense given that Accelerator had no friends as a child. (lol)

Anyway, here's a few old jokes I never got around to posting and a late Christmas chapter... which I made around a year ago. Yeah...

Anyway... another poll should be up and a chapter about NT6 should be coming out soon.

**Concern**

Hamazura Shiage and Index Librorum Prohibitorum were sitting on a bench. With his hands over his mouth, Hamazura was contemplating his position.

"So... this year's edition of '_*ono Light Novel Sugoi!_'... Our rankings are..."

Index tilted her head.

"Who are you?"

"Please don't rub it in..."

( Note: '_*ono Light Novel ga Sugoi!' _is a guide book that publishes a list of the top ten most popular light novels according to a poll. Characters are also ranked in the guide book. )

"My recent role in New Testament should've boosted me up. But for some reason, my position actually _dropped_. This is bad... really bad... It's entirely possible I might get written out of the story..."

"Again. Who are you? I don't think we've talked before."

"You should be concerned too! For a novel still named '_Toaru Majutsu no Index', _Index has become pretty damn irrelevant!"

"_GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_"

The silver-haired girl covered her ears at the harsh words.

**So I've Heard**

"But... what do we do? Is there any way we can fix this?"

Index asked. The two seemed to come to a mutual understanding.

"At this point, we can either attempt to gain popularity by changing our current image..."

Hamazura's eyes glazed over.

"_Or we can go a different route..._"

…

The two once again came to a mutual understanding, and they began their trek into darkness.

"_So I hear Nob*hiko Okamoto is quite the person."_

"_How so?"_

"_Apparently he's the type to say 'Scold me more!' and 'Tell me to kneel down and apologize!'"_

"_..."_

"_On record, he went up to one of his female co-workers and said 'I wonder when you're going to come in a school uniform. I definitely want you to come in knee-highs!'"_

"_How disgusting."_

Congratulations to Misaka Mikoto, Kamijou Touma, and Accelerator for making it into the top 5!

**NT4 Alternative: Defenseless Moe~!**

Dáinsleif: a golden sword that could stop the hearts of its enemies.

This was the dangerous weapon Marian Slingeneyer held in her hands, and she held it high into the air without hesitation. And helplessly, the participants of Natural Selector watched that sword...

The unsheathing:

"...!"

…

Her face reddened...

"...!"

…

She appeared to be struggling...

…

And putting the blade down, it seemed like she gave up.

…

"_...I-It's stuck._"

Several heart attacks were induced. But it was not because of fear.

**NT5 Alternative: Double**

Misaka Mikoto had appeared in front of Kamijou Touma again.

"Really, you're doing this again?"

"...? Huh?"

The boy grabbed her chest.

"WHA-! WHA-! WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH-!"

"Ah, so you can even imitate such a girly squeal? That's pretty good, but there's no point if I've already seen through your trick!"

Passing by, a member of anti-skill spotted the spiky-haired boy attempting to strip the clothes off of the level 5 in public.

( "How long are you planning to keep this up! Just give up already!" )

"...!"

Noticing the official, Kamijou looked up and said calmly.

"There's no problem here officer! He's actually a guy!"

"_THAT'S STILL A PROBLEM._"

**NT5 Alternative: Tease~**

Marian Slingeneyer was wandering around a plaza... but was noticing something extremely unsettling...

A gravure picture of Marian had been posted on the side of a building.

_Where did-? What? When did this-?_

She immediately shot her hand out and ripped it apart. However... there was another.

_Eh?_

And another. And another.

A bus passed by. The image of her laying on her side in a white swimsuit had been painted on it.

"..."

…

Meanwhile... Kamijou was asking a certain blond-haired Gremlin member.

"Will this really work?"

"Oh, she won't want to show her face for a good while."

**Blood-Stained Santa**

Fremea Seivelun was singing a tuneless song while riding on Hamazura Shiage's shoulders.

"Santa~! Santa~! Essentially Santa~!"

"Hold on, we're getting there. Haha~!"

They were waiting in line to see a popular Christmas figure.

"Hey, look. See? It's our turn."

Finally arriving to the front of the line...

"..."

"Hey, fucker, you just gonna stand there?"

"Don't take all day, Hamazura."

An accelerated-Santa and his meltdowner-elf were waiting.

Hamazura's face paled.

_I've made a huge mistake._

**The Strongest Santa**

"Hey...uh, Fremea-chan... Let's go somewhere else..."

"Fwee~?"

The elf called out to him.

"Hamazura, don't be such a prick."

Santa chimed in with a dark aura.

"That's right. Just sit on my lap and tell me who I need to maim, kill, or torture. Santa will make everything alright."

_What exactly is 'alright' with anything you just said...!_

"We can also break someone into your loyal dog as well. Just give the nod and we'll do it."

The elf added.

_Do you guys even know who 'Santa' is...!_

**Bad Santa**

Fremea was sitting on Santa's lap.

"Essentially, there's nothing I specifically want for myself...

...But there are things I want for other people..."

She continued.

"Komaba-oniichan seems to be thinking about a bunch of serious stuff lately... can you help him take a load off his mind...?"

"Got it."

Santa gave her the thumbs-up.

_You're terrible...! You're absolutely terrible...!_

"And, essentially, the last time I talked with Onee-chan, she said she wanted to lose some weight-"

"No problem."

The elf gave her the thumbs-up.

_Stop using that joke, damn it...!_

**Secret Santa**

Santa and the elf were watching Hamazura and Fremea leaving. The elf spoke in monotone.

"Oi, Santa-san. The girl you wanted to impress so dearly is leaving. Is it really alright to leave things like this?"

The white-haired boy sighed.

"Normally, kids these days are too selfish to care about others and would rather have games or toys for themselves. If she doesn't want anything, it just means that she's matured. It's better off this way."

"Even so, if she ever changes her mind, that oafish big brother of hers would just steal something for her in a heartbeat, don't you think?"

Before their small conversation could develop...

She came back.

…

"Say-"

The two turned towards the little girl.

She grinned and made a small bow.

"Essentially, I wanted to say... I hope Santa grants you wishes as well."

**Everyone's Santa**

In the background, Fremea was climbing onto Hamazura's shoulders.

…

Accelerator took off his hat...

He let out another breath.

"We've been had."

Mugino Shizuri looked onwards.

"Yeah, you got that right."

…

In the end, the ones who had received a "gift" were none other than the two level 5's.

That is... the sweetest gift that no chocolate could ever hope to compare to...

A girl's smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: Hey, it's another chapter. A few are about NT6. The rest are seasonal-ish. I might've strayed from the usual format towards the end, but I found it entertaining to write. Hopefully it's entertaining to read.

Have another poll! Last one came out all favorably!

_Q:_ _Will you prepare a New Year's fic too, please?_

_A: Sure... Well, this chapter went into a Setsubun direction, but I can probably fix something up later._

**Poverty**

Kamijou Touma was scraping the bottom of a dumpster.

"Whoa! Jackpot!"

He held up a stylish pair of shoes.

"These don't look all that bad! They're even my size too! Lucky~!"

At that moment, a mother and child passed by.

( "Oka-san! Why is that man digging through trash?" )

( "Shh! Don't point!" )

**Browsing**

Elsewhere, Cendrillon was wandering through a department store.

"...!"

Spotting something she liked, the French girl immediately walked over to the piece and picked it up.

"...!"

The girl saw another piece and quietly rushed towards it.

"...!"

And soon enough, she was all over the store.

A nearby attendant observed.

"_She must really like table-runners..._"

**Cover Shot I**

It was in the middle of battle. Mugino Shizuri and Accelerator were currently fending off against Kakine Teitoku's attacks

( "Goddamn it! They just keeps coming!" )

( "_It's all pointless. Isn't it easier to give up?_" )

The sounds of carnage could be heard throughout the area; however within the heart of the onslaught, a voice stood out.

" *_cough cough_* Umm... pardon the interruption..."

The three stopped at the appearance of an older man holding a camera.

"Wait a second...! You're...!"

The three Level 5's shouted in unison.

"**Haimura K*yotaka...!**"

"That's correct. Seems like the three of you have been chosen to represent the cover of New Testament 6... Would you mind if I took a picture?"

**Cover Shot II**

The photographer was lining up the shot. He waved to the Number 1 and Number 4.

( "Since the two of you are on the same side, try standing back-to-back..." )

( "Umm... Accelerator, could you turn a bit more to the front? Yes, just like that." )

Kakine raised his hand.

"What do you want me to do? Should I be attacking? Or doing something dramatic?"

"Well... how about you stand behind the two of them... with your shoulder to the camera. Alright... and turn your head slightly over..."

"Ooooh! I like this!"

Lifting his camera...

"Ready... 1... 2... 4... smile... " _*flash*_

( Mugino: "Damn. My timing was off." )

Afterwards... the Number 2 pulled out some cash.

"I'd like a dozen 3-by-5's. Do you do refrigerator magnets?"

**Instinct**

An ensemble cast had been created! Worst! Misaka #10032! Kuroyoru Umidori! And Kinuhata Saiai! What wacky shenanigans will these girls get into now!-?

"..."

The four of them were having a brainstorming session.

Though it seemed like...

There wasn't really much to do...

"..."

"'Misaka would like to-"

"**Rejected**."

**February 3rd**

Kuroyoru spoke up.

"Canonical timeline aside, I feel like celebrating Setsubun or the Lunar New Year would be appropriate, since it's February. ( Though, I'd rather not be doing anything with you guys. )"

"_Ehhh... _Ehomaki are a super pain in the ass to make..."

"'Misaka would like to point out that we're not limited to ehomaki or futomaki. These days, Setsubun has generally accepted the consumption of roll cake and tortillas as well,' says Misaka informing the culturally ignorant part of the audience."

"Uwa... That might be interesting..."

While the rest were smoothing out the details, Worst was still dazed from the last punchline.

_Eh? Misaka was ignored? Completely? Why?_

**Lucky Direction**

The four girls had just finished making ehomaki.

( "_Ugh... in the end we still made it..._" )

Kuroyoru having somewhat settled into a leadership position, announced the next plan of action.

"The 'lucky direction' should be this way, so we should face towards that area while..."

She trailed off when noticing the other girls suspiciously circling around her.

"..."

"GRAB HER!"

"_Aw fuck!"_

**Luck In!**

Misaka #10032 and Kinuhata detached both of Kuroyoru's arms.

"_GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"_

Worst came in from the front holding one particularly thick sushi roll that the four had just created.

"_N-No way! You aren't going to shove that in my mouth, are you...!"_

From a certain angle, the roll might've looked like a censor bar.

"_Ummmmmphh!_"

As the ehomaki was being crammed in, Kuroyoru fell to her knees. Her eyes started to swell with tears.

_I-It's too big...! It can't fit...! M-My jaw is going to break...!_

...

Annnnnnnd, I think I'll end this now.

**Setsubun: Epilogue**

The custom of eating ehomaki during Setsubun originated from the Kansai area of Japan. In recent years though, the practice has been getting more and more recognized as a part of the Setsubun tradition.

( Misaka Worst held a cup of roasted soybeans. )

Generally, Setsubun ( or 'Bean-Throwing Festival' ) follows the tradition of throwing beans as a means to 'cleanse the evil' of the former year in preparation for the oncoming new year. The beans can be thrown out the door or at a family member wearing a 'demon mask'. This is usually accompanied with saying "Demons out! Luck in!"

( The girl spotted a target for her bean throwing. Worst grabbed a few beans with a glint in her eye. )

For practical reasons though, this tradition isn't followed in a certain household.

( _A-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA! )_

( "_KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!_" )

**Action Roll**

While Fraulein Kreutine and Leivinia Birdway were having a conversation, Kamijou Touma jumped out from the above overpass and stylishly landed between the two. The boy smiled.

"Hey, Birdway. How about we fight and make out?"

"Why are you here! Shouldn't you be in a hospital! ( And you just messed up your line! )"

The flustered girl was pointing while yelling.

"I'm perfectly f-BLUGFFFFF-"

Blood came spurting from his mouth.

"I'm perfectly fine."

"You're obviously not!"

**Because the author doesn't have many fond memories of Valentine's Day, here's a segment based on those feelings:**

_**Not Receiving Chocolates From Various Girls in the Index Series**_

**Set 1**:

Fukiyose Seiri: "I'm actually out of obligation chocolates. I wish I had something to give you, but it's first-come, first-serve for this type of thing."

Himegami Aisa: "...? You're talking to me? Ah... sorry. I don't have anything prepared. You shouldn't take it personally... Not that you should take it personally... That is... Well... Sorry..."

Misaka Mikoto: "Huh? These chocolates here? They're from one of my juniors. It's a little embarrassing to be considered so popular. Honestly, this holiday in particular can get really annoying... but is that all you wanted to talk about? I kind of need to be somewhere right now."

Index: "_Uuuuuu~_! I had chocolates prepared, but somehow they've all disappeared! I don't know where they could have gone!"

( _I can clearly see some on your cheek..._ )

**Set 2**:

Takitsubo Rikou: "Was that... something I was supposed to do? I guess... I could go to a store later... If I have time..."

Mugino Shizuri: "Geez you're persistent. If you really want some chocolate, go buy yourself a kiss or something. They're not that expensive."

Kinuhata Saiai: "So it's Valentine's Day today? In that case, here's the wrapper from the P*cky I ate a while ago. Make sure to super throw it away after you're done with it."

Fremea Seivelun: "That's no good! Essentially, you'll get cavities is what I'm trying to say!"

( _I don't want to hear that from you... )_

**Set 3**:

Yomikawa Aiho: "Hmm? I don't typically give out chocolates anymore... I guess I've reached that age, huh? Anyway, I'm sure you'll get lucky and have a cute girl give something to ya'!"

Yoshikawa Kikyou: "As of late, manufactured chocolates have gotten to a point where they taste and feel just as good as homemade ones, so I don't see a point in making them. You should try out the free samples they're giving out at the market."

Misaka Worst: "Oooh? Maybe if you strip naked and prostrate before Misaka, Misaka might consider letting you lick a bit of chocolate off the bottom of Misaka's foot. But that goes for any day of the year."

Last Order: "You actually thought you were going to receive chocolates from me? How cute /return."

**Additional Set**:

Mjolnir: _Vrrmmmmmm..._

( Roughly translates to: Do you think I'm a vending machine? )

Cendrillon: _Tu me fais chier._

( Roughly translates to: You piss me off. )

Marian Slingeneyer: "Making chocolates? Why would I do that? Or... are you volunteering yourself...? Hold on, let me get my tools."

Thor: "My, my, you're certainly pathetic. I'd give you some chocolate, but doing so won't make you any stronger. Let's meet again when you aren't so worthless."

**Originally, this was going to be called 'Being Rejected After Confessing To Various Girls in the Index Series'; however, if followed through logically, I felt that it would become somewhat emotionally crippling for some people...**

**Well Happy Valentine's Day...!**


End file.
